Lessons in Reflections

On Flickr

Apparently I never uploaded these anywhere which is actually beyond me because I like this so I'm officially uncomfortable and forever wondering where everything went so wrong.

A Note

So, it's been awhile. I guess I wish I knew what to say but it's not easy to catch my thoughts anymore. College has everything turning so quickly but not in the way that it feels like it's slipping from my hands and out of control, more like at a constant speed; fast enough to feel progression but slow enough to enjoy the world that sliding by.

I wish I had more to say than “It's been fun” or “Loving it” but those two, quick phrases seem to summarize everything (though, I'd throw in a few select Tweets and maybe some facebook pictures) but there's something missing. I didn't think that anything was wrong; there was too much going right. But, recently, I finished a rough draft of my first novel—something I'd been trying to accomplish for a great many years now—but when I did it, I felt a little sigh of relief but after that...nothing. Something was most definitely missing. At first, I thought that it might be faith, but a week told me that I was far more comfortable with my faith now than I've ever been in my life. And another week had me wondering if I'd made the right decision, however it took less then a day to throw out that theory.

Then, probably as predicted, I looked back at some old photos and realized that I was missing art. Writing is art, but it's colorless—it's static. Words don't come to life until they've been twisted and bent; photos come to life with a different kind of effort. They come to life after a deep breath and a furrowed brow, they come to life after staring at the same tree for an hour, they come to life in the biting winds of winter and edge of a storm, they come to life through vulnerability and pain. Photography is the immediate release that writing struggles to be.

On a whim, I renewed my account on Flickr. I don't know what that means. I've given up on crossing fingers, but I have a little faith.

I've been struggling lately with things that I thought had passed and my mind isn't half as strong as it ought to be; I can feel it decaying as ideas fade without a second glance. So, I'm reverting again, falling back on the same risk of pressing the shutter. I don't always trust it, but I have no reason not to try because I need something to hold me up again.

As a side note, no matter how I fall—I'll never be anything but thankful.

There isn't Much Gratification in Being a Writer

There isn't much gratification in being a writer. It's mostly hell, intermixed with a few good ideas, well phrased thoughts, and a desperate desire to create color from what is black and white. It's a futile craft that requires patience and self-discipline though it maintains no good explanation as to why anyone would ever invest their time so uselessly.

But somewhere, there is some reason to the madness. 

There isn't much, honest, gratification in being a writer, but there is some. And I never thought I would achieve it.

I never thought that I would ever reach this kind of end; this place right here. 

Finished; something to show for my hard work, long nights, and over active imagination. This, what I've written, is more than just a story or a project; it's who I am--It's four or five years culmination all moving and progressing towards one next.

This is the end of the beginning now and something I never thought I'd make it to. It's surreal, it's unimaginable, but it's here; it's progress. I don't know what to say or even how to use words to quite describe what it feels like but it's been so long, and so many times I've imagined what it might feel like. I never imagined, though, that I'd be sitting alone in my freshman dorm room with Happiness by the Fray in the background but, I suppose, I wouldn't have it any other way.

This is happiness; this small moment of indiscernible euphoria and the overwhelming sense of hope. This is what being a writer is about. It's about these moments, not the attention or the accomplishment but those personal steps it took to get there. 

The Somewhere Queen

These are honestly some of the most telling self-portraits I've taken for two reasons: 1.) they've been taken at the top of the hill that overlooks the plains and forest that I claim as my own 2.) that crown is made out of Queen Anne's Lace and that is my favorite wildflower.

Freedom Nails

Sorry, I had to. 

Anyway, it's about 100 degrees here and I need to change because swimsuits are far more comfortable.

This weeks nails are, obviously, inspired by the Fourth and my lame attempt at patriotism! There really isn't much to say, I started with red tips and a blue tip on my index finger. Then I added  random designs with a tooth-pick. For the designs, I  just played around with different things to see how many different ways I could make fireworks (two nails turned more floral but it's alright; they're still patriotic). Then I finished the designs by dabbing glitter here and there with the point of a toothpick before adding topcoat.

Happy fourth of July!

Shades of Jade

I did these for my High-School graduation and I want to say that these are easy, but that's only if you have 3-4 hours of spare time and the patience to do so (My recommendation; pick out a new TV Show to watch--I recommend Grimm or Once Upon a Time). 

So, to begin, pick out 3-4 colors you'd like to use (I chose to stick with greens). Then, (after a base-coat, of course) start by laying down your first layer of tape in the shape of a triangle on the tip of your nail.

Tips:

One nail at a time. 

Tape, paint, then peel off the tape immediately. 

The longer you let it sit the more likely it is to mess up and peel off what you painted on.

After you finish the first layer, and after it's dry (this is important because the polish will come off with the tape if it's not dry enough), you can start the next layer the same way you did the first:

One at a time--tape, paint, peel.

Once you do the first round of triangles it's pretty easy to get a system down for the other three or four layers you have to do (I did mention patience, right?).

And, if you're going to do exactly what I did, you'll go through, about, sixty pieces of tape.

Colors:

Jade is the new Black - OPI

Here Today ... Aragon Tomorrow - OPI

Wild Thing - Pure Ice

Cafe Au Lait - Sally Hansen

(Cafe Au Lait is a nude color polish

that I chose to use since my natural

 nails get discolored)

Watercolor Nails

This is literally the easiest nail I've ever done; all it takes is a handful of colors and a lot of patience.

To start, I put down two coats of my base color (Lilac) : I recommend using a light color first because it's a good indicator of when you're down to the final layer as well as it's better for richer colors. After that patience comes in because once the base is dry enough to touch, you can add the next layer. Then wait again until that layer is also dry enough to touch (I waited about a half hour between layers, I wouldn't recommend less) and continue to add layers and dry until you're satisfied (mine are the result of 6 or seven different layers).

 Finally, when the last layer has basically dried to touch, grab a q-tip and douse it in remover (really, you want it basically dripping) and rub it gently over the nail. You'll be able to see the different layers coming through and as you get the hang of it you'll be able to try different designs by rubbing harder in different places.

Finish off with a top coat and enjoy!

Colors:

Lacey Lilac - Sally Hansen

Jade is the new Black - OPI

Secret Potion - Anise

Sunshine - Avon

Big Spender - Essie

Glitz 'n Go - Anise

(I recommend using at least one shimmer

for more depth)

May Flowers

My current nails! And also, I think, the easiest and nicest look I've done so far.

            All it takes is three colors, a toothpick, and some dotting. I started, first, by painting my nails the red, then I did sporadic blue dots (spaced pretty far from each other), and finally I did the lime dots around the blue ones. Simple. I also want to recommend the Revlon top coats because it's been a few days and they still haven't chipped despite me almost trying (because I have another idea but it's not fair to take it off before it chips)--it also dries fast for anyone worried about that. 

Colors:

Red - Essie : Geranium

(Only complaint is that Geranium doesn't cover exceptionally. Three coats and I could still see my nails underneath).

Green - Pure Ice : Wild Thing

Blue - Anise : Secret Potion

Top Coat- Revlon : Shiny Top Coat

Dots in Degrees

From a while ago; done with a toothpick and minimal patience.

Colors:

Lacey Lilac - Sally Hansen

Jade is the new Black - OPI

Not Anymore What it Used to be.

It was a strange day to take pictures. Clouds were rolling in and out, the wind was howling, and it was unseasonably warm. As weird as the weather was, it meant for time away. There's been so much going on in my life as of late, so many confusing things between the stress of college, prom, and the last quarter of senior year. To summarize; it's like everything decided to just occur all at once just because it can.

So I made a promise to myself that I would go out today. 

And I'm glad I did because I needed that time.

I didn't get anything I was in love with today (I didn't expect to) it was purely just to get away for a while. So I started editing for fun (as I always do) and here are some of the results from my little experiments in color.

The same photo two years ago :

Easter Nails

So I'd tried and failed at a few different floral patterns before settling on this easy pattern I'd found while scrolling around the Nail tag on Tumblr. It's extremely easy with a little patience. First, I painted my nails white (two coats) after that, I dripped some polish onto an index card (improvising) then, using a toothpick, I drew the designs on the nail in one of the two blues. To draw the design, start with a dot in the center and move out from there. 

That's it.

Colors:

Sally Hansen : White On

Avon : Sizzling Sky

Essie : Aruba Blue

I need to step away more often.

Went down to my cousins' for Easter weekend. It was beautiful. Everything was blooming and green and alive. For the first time in weeks I finally felt inspired to pick up the camera. I don't know why, but it's so easy for me to forget how relaxing self-portraiture is. It gives me time to breath and step away from life. When I take selfs, I can do my own thing and think without disruption. I can wander around the woods and admire how beautiful the world can be and I can just stop. That power is something I take for granted on a daily basis.

I need to step away more often.

Lilac and Sunshine

Colors:

Lacey Lilac - Sally Hansen

Sunshine - Avon

It's absolutely beautiful outside. Everything is turning green and the flowers are all starting to open up about a month earlier than usual. Normally, I despise Spring. I hate the cold weather with the dreary freezing rain and the melting ice and the deceptive sunny days where it's actually too muddy to wander anywhere but indoor malls and long for summer. But this year, it's like those days never even happened. May is here before we even left March and it's wonderful.

Anyway, I've been wanting to try the shark tooth look for a while now and what better spring colors to do it in? Also, I'm in love with this Lilac color right now, I've even got it on my toes.

The puppy followed me outside. He's a thirteen week old Australian Shepherd we named Oakley and he's been a wonderful dog so far (when he's not biting ankles, chairs, or boots).

Girl on Fire: Nail Art

For the first time in a while, since I didn't study for quarter exams (it's senior year, what's studying?), I actually put time into trying something different with my nails and I actually liked the result!

Inspiration? The Girl on Fire.

Colors:

Red - OPI : Wocka Wocka!

Orange - Sally Hansen : Sun Kissed

Yellow - Avon : Sunshine

Gold Glitter - Sinful Colors : All About You

I went to the Hunger Games midnight premiere last night, and let me say, I was not expecting the movie to be anywhere near as good as it was. I had very few expectations. I thought I'd be leaving the same way I did for Deathly Hallows; unsatisfied. But I wasn't at all unsatisfied; I was dklfhasdjf (dampened with tears and seasoned with fruit loops because we sneak cereal into the theater instead of paying for popcorn). The filming was phenomenal, it dragged me in the way the book did. And, despite knowing what happened, I still found myself on the edge of my seat.

It's hard to calculate exactly how sick and disturbing the Games actually are until they're brought to life on screen. And I still can't say I'm over it. But I can say that I loved every minute of the movie and that it's a brilliant interpretation of the series.

Why do it?

Last summer I tried to do something that I'd never actually heard of anyone doing and I tried to do it all on my own. Sure, embarking on a project that you've come up with, mostly, on your own is certainly creative; however, organizing it almost entirely alone (in the beginning, at least) is actually Hell (especially when you're struggling with other photography related things). But, I survived, we survived, and this year we're doing it again. But this time, we're doing it right.

Last year I called it Top Model Project, but this year we're calling it So You Think You Can Smile. Last year I was dodging around in a post-365 slump while this year, after a break, I have ideas shooting like Roman candles out of every orifice (you can imagine how that feels). And better yet, last year I did it, basically, on my own. It wasn't a train-wreck, but it certainly didn't go the way that it could've. This year things are different. We have a team, a board of four of us. We're all good friends after last year and all of us bring different ideas to the table. And the best part about this alliance? We've been planning since November. So, bring it on.

Now, what is it? That's easy, it's a modeling competition (think, ANTM) with people in our area who are interested in modeling casually (No matter how hard we try this isn't professional). Auditions take place in March, April, and May (before summer hits) and because we can only take ten. SYTYCS will last for eleven weeks, closing sometime in the second week of August when we pick the winner. On a weekly basis, we'll meet up at least twice during the week; once for shooting and again, later that week, for elimination. Yes, elimination. Last year, we ended up not eliminating anyone because we all became too good of friends and I have weaknesses (but this year the Board won't let that happen).

So, why do we do this? What's in it for us aside from a lot of stress? Simple, it's a fun way to build our portfolios (possibly theirs) and create the diversity that you can't get when you're only using yourself and close friends for photos and make-up. But how many portfolios can there possibly be to build? You'd be surprised, we have Pam who's our make-up artist and trying to build hers, we may get at least one girl who's interested in modeling to that extent, and, of course, for the photographers (Yes, there is more than one, there's plenty). Another reason we do this is because, this year, we're trying to find a way to give back to the community. We're still brainstorming how, but we've narrowed it down and we're not saying anything yet.

Finally, why should anyone participate? To have fun, to try something new, and to meet new people (this one's our favorite). We welcome anyone interested in helping in anyway, whether they want to come and shoot a few pictures, hang out and help us set up, put together outfits, brainstorm, do hair, design clothes, anything. We love people. Love them. And we always need help in some form or another. That's why we do it.

View the Facebook Page

And so Surreal that a Ghost Should be so Practical.

And so surreal that a ghost should be so practical., a photo by Allison Imagining on Flickr.

Last Snow of the Year

It snowed again last Friday. And it was the last snow of the year which seemed fitting because it came and clung to the trees and covered the grass and the turned the world around, but a few days later it melted and was never seen again. But I'm happy that I took a minute to stop and experience it, something I hadn't done once this year.

Even though I was drenched in a few minutes because the snow was so heavy, it still wasn't as cold as I thought it was going to be.

First Post

So I've decided to start an actual blog where I can write more about my photos, my thoughts, and the projects I'm working on.