Yesterday was one of those bad days and (finally) I turned back to self-portaiture hoping that it would bring me some kind of peace. If anything, it at least provided distraction because I spent hours trying to make it work because I'm a perfectionist.
I shot for nearly two hours and the photos proved to be the getaway I needed. I cleaned my room, made my bed, hung fairy-lights and scavenged my mind for inspiration. I opened my closet door to find the right shirt, but my eyes fell on the prom dress from my senior year and something about it seemed necessary (also the deep pinks contrasted well with the blues). And in my quest for motivation, among a million words, thoughts, and half-formed ideas, vulnerability was the word that struck me.
To me, vulnerability isn't about opening up for the ability to do so. I'll show as much of myself as I can, I'll open up to any who will listen, I'm not shamed by myself, my imperfections, my bones, or my mistakes. To me, none of those show vulnerability but rather confidence of self.Vulnerability is in the quiet moments where no one is looking. Vulnerability is how your mind fills the silence and your own wild day dreams. It's in those days when we seek to be alone, and in those moments when we truly are. Vulnerability is about letting in. Letting others hear the murmur of your heart and letting your walls collapse for a glimpse at your soul. Vulnerability runs deeper than blood.
On another note: Silver Linings Playbook is an excellent movie and Candles by Daughter is a beautiful song by a wildly under apprecciated artist.
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