Feb 23, 2013

Self Reflection

Some days I feel like my life is headed nowhere, like I'm just running the same dull circle trying to find meaning where none is left to be found. But on other days I can see it, I can see the meaning in my life and the purpose I want it to have. We all want to be someone, we want people to smile when they see us and call out our name before we're even there. We want to be included and invited, wanted and remembered and all in our own special ways for our own individual accomplishments because we're alive and we shouldn't be subject to mediocrity for that very reason.

We're all called, in someway, to contribute to the land and leave our mark upon the world in whatever small way we can. And today I realized that we shouldn't have to settle or compromise our dreams for comfort because with every opportunity we let go of, we lose a piece of ourselves. It's dreams and ambition that separate the discern the individual from a majority.

For the last two months I've been miserable. I've been unsure of everything, my dreams of publishing seemed completely impossible and well-beyond my reach with every passing second of reasarch. Everyday was a struggle that left me confused and disheartened because I knew what I loved, I knew what I needed, and I knew what I wanted to get out of my life; I wanted to share my stories and help others do the same because words are vital.

And up until this morning it felt like a dream among dreams; completely and utterly irrational. But it's days like these, surrounded by support I'd never imagined, that lead me to believe the old adage that says, “there's a reason for everything,” and everyday is a reminder that I'm one step closer to reaching my purpose.

Have a self portrait that I took in my dorm room for a last minute English project and an edit I did for the hell of it!





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