Some days I feel like my life is
headed nowhere, like I'm just running the same dull circle trying to
find meaning where none is left to be found. But on other days I can
see it, I can see the meaning in my life and the purpose I want it to
have. We all want to be someone, we want people to smile when they
see us and call out our name before we're even there. We want to be
included and invited, wanted and remembered and all in our own
special ways for our own individual accomplishments because we're
alive and we shouldn't be subject to mediocrity for that very reason.
We're all called, in someway, to
contribute to the land and leave our mark upon the world in whatever
small way we can. And today I realized that we shouldn't have to
settle or compromise our dreams for comfort because with every
opportunity we let go of, we lose a piece of ourselves. It's dreams
and ambition that separate the discern the individual from a
majority.
For the last two months I've been
miserable. I've been unsure of everything, my dreams of publishing
seemed completely impossible and well-beyond my reach with every
passing second of reasarch. Everyday was a struggle that left me
confused and disheartened because I knew what I loved, I knew what I
needed, and I knew what I wanted to get out of my life; I wanted to
share my stories and help others do the same because words are vital.
And up until this morning it felt like
a dream among dreams; completely and utterly irrational. But it's
days like these, surrounded by support I'd never imagined, that lead
me to believe the old adage that says, “there's a reason for
everything,” and everyday is a reminder that I'm one step closer to
reaching my purpose.
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